Take Time
As an avid reader, I am always trying to get my hands on a new book of some sort. The past few weeks, I have been reading a book about loving completely, and living your life as if you only had one month left. It is incredibly eye-opening and humbling to fully realize how ridiculously self-absorbed we are. The book is full of simple acts, such as “Make a list of 10 people who mean a great deal to you, and then pretend you only have 30 days left on this earth. What would you want to make sure those people know and understand about you, and/or what would you want to do with the time you have left, together? Got your list? Ok, now go do it!” I was mentally making a list of who I would want to spend my last days with, and what I’d tell them, but when I got to the part that said “Go do it”, I thought: “But I have work, errands, my dog, bills to pay, important requirements and obligations to fulfill”. I dare say the vast majority of people, if they were being completely honest, would admit to thinking the same things.
There are probably countless people who have given up reading my blog, because of all the “Dad” references I make, over and over again. My father was at the top of my “Favorite people” list, and to say I miss him is the biggest understatement one could make. However, reading this book makes me go back to the days when he was sick, and our lives consisted of accompanying him to countless doctors, hospitals, tests, radiation/chemo treatments, etc. Without a moment of hesitation, NOTHING else mattered more, to any of us. We dropped our entire lives and spent most everyday with Dad – 24/7. We wanted to soak up every minute, talk about every topic on the planet, ask every piece of advice, and re-tell every single joke that we could – because we simply did not know how long we had left.
Countless times, since Dad passed away, I have caught myself thinking back on those days of doing nothing but being a family. As much as I hated the difficulty, the pain, and the uncertainty we felt, I absolutely relished the time we had together. It was such a nice change of pace, to have nothing “to do”, but be together. There were no deadlines, contracts to send out, meetings to attend, business to handle. Dad simply said “It will all be there tomorrow, and I may not be. Leave it”. All that mattered at that time, was making a memory, taking a mental snapshot and knowing it would be a priceless treasure, in the future. I wish it were easy to get back to that place of time moving slowly and nothing over-riding the desire to be in the moment, completely.
Most of the time we work long hours to provide for our family, but we have no “time” for them. We buy expensive gifts, to share with our loved ones, but we can’t set aside one entire day with no cell phones, laptops, or other interruptions, to give them our time. Why do we let “things” matter more than the actual people we supposedly care so much about?
In life, we search over, under, around the world for lasting love. We want that one person who “gets” us more than anyone else, but when asked what our biggest fear is, a LOT of people answer with “Falling in love” or “being hurt”. In other words, we want to love and be loved wholly and completely, but we don’t ever want to be let down, disappointed, or hurt. Mother Teresa said it best: “Loneliness is the most terrible poverty”. Without loving and being loved in return, we are emotionally poor. Allowing ourselves to love and be loved comes with a price – or a risk – and that is pain. In every situation there is the fear of loss; being broken up with, cheated on, having the other person die. We are worried most about losing the person we have allowed ourselves to open up to, the most. In order to truly love to the best of our ability, we have to look to the only One who has ever loved perfectly – Christ. I love a quote from the book I am reading. It says “Your problem is not that you don’t love God enough. It’s that you don’t understand how MUCH He loves you.” This is so true. I want to challenge you as I’ve challenged myself; this week, take time to show someone you care about, just how much they mean to you. Take time out of your life to maintain quality relationships with those you love the most.
