Disconnect, to Connect

Nothing in life that is worth having, ever comes easily.  This is why you always hear about winning being so hard.  Looking at it from a sports analogy, you can break it down, analyze, try and reason it out, but the winning team is the one who makes the most RIGHT plays and choices. The losing team couldn’t quite get it together quickly enough to overtake the opposing team. The same is true in life. When faced with sad, difficult, disappointing news, you have two choices; accept it, try to work out a plan of action and move forward, or simply give up.  How much easier would life be if we all carried around a real life “Easy” button? MUCH!
Throughout my entire life, people have said “If the devil isn’t attacking, he doesn’t feel threatened by you.” If that comment is true, I should be making GIANT leaps in my spiritual walk, because the past few weeks have been some of the most difficult I have had in a long time. I have felt attacked by the enemy in every way of life; physically, with relationships, spiritually, emotionally…in every way. I have definitely wished for an easy button, lately.  So often in life, we get so consumed with trying to get people to see OUR point of view, and accept OUR opinions on subjects, that we don’t stop to listen to their thoughts. We are so worried about being right, we often don’t even realize when we are wrong. Society has brainwashed us into thinking everything is grey. Nothing is black and white anymore, according to the media and Hollywood. I respectfully disagree; Right is still right and wrong is still wrong. Recently, I have caught myself getting upset because people couldn’t be where I wanted them to be, when I wanted them to be there. They didn’t want to eat where I suggested, or see the movie I wanted to see, or spend time with me, doing what I wanted. In hindsight, I see how if I had taken a breath (breathing is more crucial than we realize) before responding, how many fights could have been stopped! It is selfish to expect everyone to desire to do things the way I want to do them. It is idiotic to think everyone will always agree with my point of view. In most scenarios of life there IS no “Always”, “Never” and “Every time” because there is an exception to every rule.

 Lines of communication seem to dissolve the more “connected” we become. I can’t think of a single person I know who doesn’t own a cell phone. Most everyone I know is constantly walking around with a laptop, cell phone, or some other form of communication. We get news instantly, we text constantly, we read emails 5 seconds after they are delivered to our inbox, yet when is the last time we really, truly, connected with someone? When did we last turn the TV off, lay down our phones, and LOOK at someone to hear what they were saying, and to feel the emotion behind it? We are so conditioned to not get involved, that we forget we are to “Bear one another’s burdens”. I wish I could more easily have lunch, coffee, dinner, take a walk, go driving with people I care about. I would love for us to disconnect with the world for a day, or even just an hour or two, and catch up. Talk, share, bear each other’s burdens…Often, just getting your thoughts out of your head, helps you process them more easily.

I have also, often wished people would pause before responding. There will always be those who disagree with us on something; politics, religion, child rearing, marriage/no marriage, kids/no kids, alcohol/drugs and no alcohol/no drugs, language, movies, music and I could go on and on. We are all so dogmatic in what WE believe we don’t easily stop to hear someone else out on their beliefs and their WHY on something before we pass judgement. We lash out at those who don’t speak, parent, act or live the way we think they should but most everyone has a reason for why they do or don’t do something.

I have challenged myself, after reading it in a few different places, with this thought: If we tried to understand as diligently as we tried to BE understood, we’d be in such a better place. If we “fought” fairly, we’d KNOW when enough is enough, and we wouldn’t push those we love the most, to the point of losing their cool with us. There would be far less arguments, and much more loving and accepting. After all, as my mom has always taught me, whether in romance, friendships, work or family – when you choose to have someone in your life – on any level – you choose to let ALL of them in your life. You don’t only invite in the part of them that likes the same sports teams as you, or the part that agrees with you in most every scenario or listens to the same music you do. No, you choose to let ALL of them – the good, the bad, the positive, negative and everything in between, into your heart, and life. We need to stop, listen, process, accept, love people exactly as they are.  Be the change you wish to see; maybe through you, others will change. If not, love ’em anyway.

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