As most everyone knows, yesterday was International Women’s Day. In my opinion, women should be celebrated EVERY dang day because, OBVS, but in the spirit of the #holiday, I started thinking about women in my life and how much they mean to me. When I think of HEROES I first think of women. I mean, who else can handle kids school lunches, prepare breakfast, fold laundry, care for pets, and simultaneously save the world in a day, all before 8am every day of the week?!
I thought of a quote I came across a few years ago: “HEROES in modern times are the link between man as he is and man as he could be” (Wade Edwards)
I came across this quote while reading Elizabeth Edwards’ book “Resilience”. If you don’t already know, Wade was John Edwards (who ran for President) and Elizabeth’s (who died from cancer a few years back) 16 yr old son, who was killed in a car accident several years ago. He was very promising and had written an essay in school which included this quote. It struck me as being SO true.
How often do we, as wide-eyed, innocent children – as well as older, wiser, more jaded, adults look up to “heroes”; Those we most want to be “when we grow up”. As a child it may be “Superman” or “Cinderella”, as adults it may be Bill Gates, Oprah, Famous athletes, Barbara Walters or my own personal favorite, Reese Witherspoon. Something about these people – icons in their own right, set them apart in such a way that we “simple” humans, strive to be just like them. Reading the quote by Wade got me thinking – “Who or what, says we CAN’T be these heroes we think are so unattainable”? Why can’t WE create a software that changes the world as know it – or become a self-made empire, or interview the most sought after celebrities of our time – or simply BE OURSELVES? Why do we always strive to be someone else, someone better, richer, prettier, thinner? What’s wrong with US being the hero someone else wants to be? I say, Nothing. As women, we are so often told to be quieter, dress sexier, be smaller, act dumber, be shorter, be less dynamic, be LESS. The women I look up to the most – my mom, sister, friends – NONE of them are “less than”. They are magnificently perfect just exactly as they are, and that’s why I look up to them! Most of all they are REAL. I will tell you REAL quickly that I do not do fake. If I see even a smidge of “fake” on someone in real life OR on social media I am gone. Done. Unfollow.
Social media is a love/hate relationship I have. I see how it helps many people and many businesses be successful but I also see a whole generation of girls, young WOMEN who are looking at these size zero influencers who are carrying (likely gifted to them) designer bags, wearing designer shoes, and in an outfit that costs more than I make in a month of work. But what worries me MOST is these girls don’t see behind the scenes of the ads the girls posed for in a magazine, or interview the girls did for some fashion “news” outlet, glam squad who did their hair, makeup and clothes for free. These girls then walk down the street a little bit and snap a few selfies they then keep in their phone to randomly post a month after. We are all painting unattainable pictures very few of us live out. Then we have girls starving themselves to be a size zero, and thinking they’ll never be anything because they don’t look like the girls they see on social media.
I have been in these shoes and felt like I wasn’t “enough” at various times in my life, which is a huge part of why I am creating a website/lifestyle blog/safe space entirely focused on ATTAINABLE everything. I’ll be sharing more on my stories and posts in the days and weeks to come but this is something very close to my heart and I am intentionally trying to be sure everything is realistic, easy, fun, and something anyone can be a part of. I’ve adapted the quote “there is room for EVERYONE at this table called life” and I truly mean it.
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“When u make a CHOICE, it shouldn’t be considered settling” Mike Glenn (Pastor of my former church)
I came across this quote my former pastor made some time ago – he was referring to relationships, and said we shouldn’t settle for someone who wouldn’t love, support, appreciate us as they should. Reading it more recently, it made me think of the bigger picture. I shouldn’t “Settle” for my house, job, friends…Life. I should make a CHOICE and then embrace it. Fully. Sure, things could always be better; I could work out harder, run faster, make more money, eat healthier, but sometimes, I just want WHAT I WANT. The point is – whether its a HUGE life-altering decision, or simply which color heels you should get – choose wisely. And then don’t look back. Embrace your choice – and don’t ever, ever Settle. Go for the best.
“People always say when you love someone nothing else matters, but thats not true. When you love someone, everything in the world matters a little bit more”. (Handle with Care, by Jodi Picoult)
This is one of my favorite quotes, ever – from one of my favorite authors ever. I have read every one of Jodi’s books and I always eagerly await her next one. I love the simplicity and honesty of these words! Everything DOES matter a little more, when you love someone. It could be love in the form of a child – and you suddenly LOVE the minivan you swore a few years ago you’d never be driving – because its SAFER….or your new husband, and you suddenly LOVE cleaning house, just to surprise him when he comes in the door from work….ok so maybe that has never actually happened. =) The point is, when LOVE is involved, everything in life DOES make a little more sense, and mean a little bit more. Let’s be sure the words we say, the actions we take, and the way we live shouts love.
**FORGIVENES; Letting someone out of the expectation that they can fix the hurt they caused”**
Another quote that same pastor said a couple years ago. I have a copy in my bible. It’s such a blatant reminder that NO one can ever fix the hurt they may have caused you – whether intentional, or unintentional. To truly forgive, well that just may be the hardest lesson you ever learn. It takes almost nothing to say “I’m sorry”, but to utter the words “You’re forgiven” – well, that takes a lifetime.
Let’s be women who LOVE loudly, FORGIVE quickly, CHOOSE wisely, and most definitely be your own HERO.
XO